Caring Comes at a Cost
Where I remember the tenderhearted girl within me.
Everything Belongs is a community for those who want to explore and embrace their neurodivergence with radical self-compassion. True to the name, these weekly notes reflect whatever it is that I’m currently exploring in my life and research rather than a prescribed set of subjects on neurodivergence. My work as a neurodivergent life coach centers around self-discovery, self-compassion, and self-advocacy—so you will see these as underlying themes of this space.
Last week, I remembered myself as the girl who needed her mom to come with her to the vet clinic field trip because she wasn’t sure she could handle the sight of sick animals.
I remembered because I came face to face with neglect and I wondered why I was suddenly so sensitive.
But it wasn’t sudden at all. My heart has always been “too sensitive” to the cruelties of our world.
Sensitivity comes at a cost, and I had long since buried that tenderhearted girl.
Through words and actions (or inactions, often) humanity teaches us not to care so much. Religious teachings that center the salvation of human souls can cause us to neglect the flesh and blood, soil and water aspects of our world.
I believe in the finitude of our energy and attention. I believe that the human heart is too small a muscle to carry every burden. And yet, perhaps, we’ve not so much accepted our limits as closed ourselves off from anything that feels heavy.
We could overwhelm ourselves with all the cares of the world, so instead, we place our cares into compartments that keep us functioning in a capitalist society.
As a question-asker, I don’t have answers.
Today I’m asking the tenderhearted girl inside me what she cares about. I’m asking her to show me what I’ve compartmentalized or quieted for the world’s comfort.
I have been a thousand different women, and some of those are little girls who still dare to care with their full hearts.
I’m with you,
T
Interested in sharing your neurodivergent experience?
If you self-identify or are diagnosed as neurodivergent, I would love to have you share your experience here in this space through a written interview. If that interests you, please email me at info@tarynnergaard.com with the subject line “My Neurodivergent Experience” so I can send you more information. Contacting me is not a commitment, so you can decide later if it’s something you’d like to move forward with or not.
I can’t wait to hear—and share—your neurodivergent experience. I believe in the power of story to challenge the structures that exist to disconnect us from ourselves and others.